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dumbo

by (EM)

/
1.
i ready my closing remarks after twenty-four years of dark east to west sweeps the dawn i say to you, "well, so long" the trees are still, the wind is gone mine are the only eyes to see the sun the dawn sweeps from east to west a bed of blue calling for rest i've been cut, i've bled before i lost my mind and i've lost more there is no key to release me so just quit teasing me damnation's destination i bought a one-way ticket at the station i've always been in limbo they've just finally cracked the window the performance of a lifetime i hope i get some good reviews i worked so long to lose it all i tried too hard, forgot to love myself just wait for your cue then jump into view quick peek behind the curtain to make damn sure i am certain cuz i can't take another joke this ends the book i wrote
2.
guessing all the time where to go put out the fire uproot my home missing all the while friends, even foes every failed try reaches a new low suddenly something strives to reach my attention a brand new addition to my dimension i don't know what you are but i know i don't want to hurt you are you a ghost or an earthly invention presenting itself as dancing light over my head keeps my path bright i'm no longer alone and this may sound trite but sometimes living isn't even a fight i don't care if it's real or not something's on my side it could be a part of my mind just my imagination it's voice does no harm it draws me towards what's right i'll listen while i'm lucky enough to have it help my plight i clearly see now what i need and what to change before i leave i've always cared just not enough about myself i wasn't even really there just passing with the air i know i can do better
3.
harmless creature with a fatal feature removed from nature never to return pain inflicted left unassisted made brittle by the sun stranded rebirth and revise time to attempt again released from need living on dreams let them wash like waves into the days the ship has landed... ready for redemption unafraid of the end sent back to set things straight i suppose it's never too late some have said i'm not meant to survive i'm here to disprove all the lies i grow to get cut again i look through a foreign lens i see a line straight to death i see the other as i hold my breath i have a choice to face myself, no avoiding that's the one i'm making that's the way i'm taking i've lied and hurt my friends it became quite the trend i'm sorry for what i've done after all the hospital beds my mind and body failed and spent walking the halls of every ward wondering whether to cut the cord i feel the full weight of my actions and realize the importance of love i can't return to what once was what i have is just enough so just try to take me out of this world you won't get me gone i'll go on my own terms change takes a lifetime these days i never rest
4.
so there we were where the road quits tires spinning water rushing in i heard voices above all the mess through the windshield i saw nothingness i never imagined wishing so madly for my feet to feel concrete we went crashing in pushing life's limits we came thrashing out after putting a knife in it what luck we keep to still be standing here though i know hearses hide engines running, exhaust spitting i always demanded a front row seat waiting for fate to play out young and unfocused i could have been snuffed out on so many bright days i haven't seen you in years but we shared that moment in time only we know what went through our minds what words escaped our mouths when the car hit the water
5.
i don't win i cut short of darkness and fall between beams of grey supporting what unfortunately remains cowardly, i know my ability to construct a home amidst the failings and falling outs i've never been quoted as happy here spend a little time sober sipping well wishes from the wishing well the bore brings back former problems like they're your reward so i lose again lucky that short-term prizes sink to bottom you'll never catch me gearing up for another fight with consolation in my sight tie me to the ship while my vision's impaired and my mind is barely a blinking light i'm still here so far nothing ever changes, right?
6.
i'm hooked again who would've guessed overindulging could end in a mess i don't change play the same old game making timeless mistakes my brain chemistry warped like a record set in the sun all day a year ago i learned how to help myself, but it was a lie, i was high the whole time any progress you saw from the outside was just a trick i treated us to this won't end well i've seen the map i've read the story i've lived it in dreams each year is a template life never strays from the plotline here we go again preventative measures can't measure up to another autumn's fall can i exercise free will before the author gets me killed will i lift my pen off the paper and finally begin to taper this year i thought maybe things would be different i had some higher hopes for myself i've always been the king of wishful thinking this is the day i actually take action towards my health
7.
look back 04:22
i used to touch each tree as i walked by i used to kick fallen leaves and follow give me days of rain i would walk for miles i didn't need to teach my mouth to smile there was always another trail to pace paths with histories to retrace amongst flowers i forget my diseases but i spy petals falling to rest on the river eyes elsewhere for a moment look back, all that's disappeared the tide has a way of creating mysteries hands reach out, remembering never quite tickle the truth a wall separates worlds we take advantage of even these words i struggle to say no clue if my memory is still accurate not to mention the purity of poison i require to retread it all some recent dawn i found myself walking not sure why, i guess i needed to get gone just as the sky began to turn blue i thought i saw in it, shades of you
8.
the snow has returned painting streets and trees the air has a bite the cold bares its teeth the wind's picking up still it won't take me away the sky stays grey for days upon days i'm surrounded by a strange warmth as i replay my memories it must be shame because it's not relief the birds still sing they forgot to fly south the water still flows through each river's mouth i hear joni's voice i understand her pain tears form in my eyes last year's felt the same i remember well, how i felt empty, torn open, and broken nothing has changed there's no tricks up my sleeve autumn gives way to the darkest season i am still here i'm not sure the reason it's been a year of sadness and struggle sometimes i wonder why i go through the trouble i have tried so hard to get help but my brain just won't accept it these coldest months are a test of my strength what is normal? i would like to know this "wellness" i've heard of must be a joke when something gets good i have a talent of tearing it all down like i can't stand it maybe next year i'll grow into this life i'll know the way i'll get rid of the knife night beckons me with whispers of release i've heard it all i'm not going to sleep i know spring will set me free i hope this time it will keep and i'll stay steady ready for anything
9.
delusional 08:09
not an every day drug or an all day drug i am fucking my serotonin what's the difference between self-esteem and dopamine self at ease not exactly bound harshly to human forms tied up on the ground is exactly how i look in my head oh no, here i go time is getting stronger voices say what they say time is getting longer i'm on the brink of some really unfortunate shit it hurts a bit come here and sit amongst head lies and brain fries i've been alone and regressing drunk-and-damn-awful depressing delusional i'm stuck between nothing and nothing (oh no...)

about

"A new album release from (EM), short for Eddie Mead, is an insanely catchy, fuzztone, garage rock masterpiece complete with addicting melodies, tons of hooks both musically and vocally, and a fusion of genres. The Dumbo album is packed with creative sounds and effects along with acoustic and electric guitar combinations that breathe a bit of a new life into indie-rock.

This is a record that is alive and breathing at all times. Songs are shining and boundless as they wail on and give a certain warm feeling. Crossing a 90's underground rock sound, with a deep grunge feel, and never leaving pop behind, Dumbo is a huge record with so much fun to soak in it's almost engulfing.

You can hear the limitless factor on this album. The fact that this was created without walls or a precise format of "how to do things". It is a free record and you can hear and feel that freedom in creation. That freedom in recording. I think this is part of why the album is so addicting and why you will relate to not only its words but its actual sounds.

There is an ambience to the record as well. Something that expands and contracts all the way through.

Bringing to mind bands like Modest Mouse at times, and Beach Boys others, there is a portrayal of eclectic influences running through the veins of this piece of work.

This is sort of an opus of a record in the way that it's a lot to soak in but damn is it fun to do. You end up falling in love with the grit of the sound of the release quickly and it's quirky and bendy sounds scattered about. Dumbo has its own atmosphere.

Check this album out and see if you can shake it off once it's over."

-The Sounds Won't Stop

credits

released November 25, 2020

written, performed, recorded, and produced by Eddie Mead

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(EM) Stevens Point, Wisconsin

Eddie Mead

the NITE DINO
sees you soon...

thrombosis jones lives alone

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